Hitting on girls – respect me but don’t treat me differently.

Oh! YOU forgot to put YOUR box on?

I am going to keep this rant as brief as possible. I have to say that one of the most annoying things (and I would have to say one of the only annoying things) I have encountered during training, is when other karateka treat me differently because of my gender. It is generally the opposite gender who seem to do this, and I am sure there are any number of reasons for it. I am more than happy to be enlightened.

Outside the dojo, it’s not socially acceptable to go around hitting anyone. In our society there is still, for some reason, a perception that if you are a man and you hit a woman it is worse than if you are a man and you hit a man (or for that matter a woman and you hit a man). Personally I don’t actually accept that notion. In my opinion, violence by any human being against another is unacceptable.

Inside the dojo, however, we do hit our friends / training partners. We don’t want to hurt them, sure, but, part of training (eg conditioning, bunkai, kumite etc) involves a degree of (sometimes fairly strong) physical contact. When you step through the door into the dojo, you tacitly give informed consent to this. If someone gives you more than you can handle you can tell them to back off or stop (which is tantamount to withdrawing that consent either temporarily or otherwise) and by the same token if you are going too hard and someone asks you to back off, you need to respect that.

By all means adjust your techniques to my height / weight / speed / level of conditioning etc, unless you are specifically asked to fully resist. I will do the same for you to the best of my ability. Just please don’t tell me you “don’t / can’t hit girls”, and  / or hit me so gently I can’t feel it. Believe me I will be the first to let you know if I can’t handle it!

I wear the same uniform as you do, I do the same training as you do and we are on the same path. I am pretty sure we all come to class for similar reasons.

I don’t come and train to be wrapped in cotton wool. I do come because I love it. I do come to get tougher (conditioned). I do come to learn. This includes learning how to defend myself against violence should the need arise. I doubt a potential attacker will hold back, so please, at least give me some sense of simulation.


2 thoughts on “Hitting on girls – respect me but don’t treat me differently.

  1. Pingback: Gender equality: Same, same, but different. | A work in progress

  2. Amen and amen, sistah! In tournament I watched a big tall gal in my division whose “thing” was aggression and she dearly loved to catch peoples’ kicks and dump ’em on their cans. My first reaction was I was glad I’d lost my first round so I didn’t have to spar against her. Then it occurred to me – hey, she fights almost exactly like one of my “big brothers.” My “big brother” doesn’t hold back even though he outranks me, I’m considerably shorter, and I’m old enough to be his mother. So then I found myself disappointed that I’d lost my first round and wouldn’t face her 🙂 Ah well, there’s always the next tournament. Thank you, big brother 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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