Unsettling tears (An ode to Fudoshin and the benefit of hindsight)

Fudoshin: I need to find it and keep it with me at all times……not be distracted from the aim of the game!

We stood facing off at the edge of the ring,

Preparing ourselves for the fight,

I felt the excitement I usually feel,

You must have felt something wasn’t quite right.

It took me a while to notice,

But then when you dealt the first blow,

I was taken aback; no, not by the impact,

But your tears that had started to flow.

I assured you that I was not hurting,

I said I was fine to keep going.

You needed a minute to settle yourself,

Then I felt how unsettled I was growing.

We continued the bout when you came back,

But I’d lost my mindset by then,

I could think only of how you were feeling,

Before you attacked me again.

This time you kicked with less mercy,

I too preoccupied to deflect.

With a sting in my side, which I tried hard to hide,

We bowed out as friends; with respect.

I know I have learned several lessons,

Taken some hard knocks I still feel.

But I need to be able to hold it together,

Because one day this fight may be real.


3 thoughts on “Unsettling tears (An ode to Fudoshin and the benefit of hindsight)

    • I was completely at a loss for what to do or say when this happened. I gave her a hug after we finished and checked she was ok after class but I just couldn’t work it out. It has been playing on my mind ever since. 😦 What I should have done was keep my head together rather than playing into it…..until AFTER the match…..it just really threw me. I normally fight guys….and as scary as I am (not) not one of them has shed a tear….yet. I don’t think it was probably anything to do with me (not the least of which has to do with the fact that she outranks me by at least 8 or so kyu!!!) but perhaps my life experience means I don’t get so anxious in these situations???


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